Post Turkey Day Turkey Post

Bienvenue Kind Readers,

Ok, being that my second favorite holiday has just passed, I felt it appropriate to finally post another recipe.  And this is the mother of all my recipes... Adam's Awesome, Amazing, Fantastic, Spectacular Turkey.

Let's get to it.

The first step is getting a turkey.  I am a fan of Butterball... and yes, I am aware they are a little controversial in their turkey treatment; but boy do they produce one tasty bird.  The following recipe is what I used for a 22.3 lb turkey, so this recipe will accommodate anywhere from an 18 - 25lb turkey, give or take a pound.

The second step is defrosting the bird.  I leave mine for about 5-6 days prior to applying the brine, which is done 24 hours before it goes into the oven, so start your defrosting around 6-7 days before you want to serve.  For more accurate defrosting time, consult the instructions that come with your bird.  That marks the end of the easy stuff.

Now, onto the brine.  AKA, my favorite part.  I don't know why it is my favorite, especially since there will be bacon later, but it is inexplicably my most enjoyed turkey activity apart from when I get to devour it.  Here's what you need:

1/2 Gallon of Apple Cider
1 Gallon of water
1 Cup salt
1 Cup brown sugar (how come you taste so good! Rolling Stones anyone? No?  Ok, moving on)
1 Tablespoon rosemary
1 Tablespoon thyme
2 Tablespoons rubbed sage
Peel of 1 orange (I used dried blood orange peel, but you can use any citrus fruit really)
3 Tablespoons peppercorns
4-5 Bay leaves
1 Tablespoon chopped garlic
1 lb Ice

First, wash your turkey.  This is simple, as you toss it into a clean sink, rub some salt all over it and rinse it in cool water for several minutes.  Then, toss all your ingredients, sans the ice, into a large pot and bring to a boil.  Let it simmer until all the salt and brown sugar is dissolved.  Remove from the heat and let fully cool.  This will take about 2 million hours, so do this quite early.

Once it is fully cooled, toss your turkey and the ice into the brine and let it sit for 12-24 hours (I wouldn't go past 24 hours, but it's not detrimental if you do.)  If you don't have a stock pot big enough (I couldn't find one and suspect that you'd have to consult the army to find one) you can just use plastic marinating bags.  If you go the bag route, you may have to rotate your bird every few hours to make sure the brine gets to all parts of the turkey.

Now make an herb butter.  This is simple:

2 Sticks of salted butter
2 Tablespoons rubbed sage
1 Tablespoon thyme

Let the butter reach room temperature, and put it in a bowl.  Sprinkle the herbs over it, and with the back of a fork, incorporate it all together.  Cover with plastic wrap and place in the fridge until you are ready to cook the bird.  I do this while the brine is cooling so it can meld flavors for about 24 hours.

Dissolve to the next day.  Or star wipe, if you so choose.

Take your bird out of the brine about an hour before you are going to pop it into the oven.  Give it a good rinse and let it sit while you do some other prep work.

Let us discuss some aromatics, shall we?

3 Celery sticks
3 Large carrots
3 Apples
1 Large yellow onion
1 Large red onion
1/4 Cup water
1lb Bacon

Give the fruit and vegetables a rough chop, dividing your yield into 3 parts.  Place 2 parts and the 1/4 cup water in the bottom of the roasting pan, and the remaining 1 part in the turkey cavity.  Next, place your turkey in your roasting pan (either in the rack if you are using a fancy pants roasting pan like me, or directly on top of your aromatics if you are using tin foil or other...)

Now, smother the turkey in the herb butter.  You may wanna let the butter come to room temperature so it is easier to smear.  I like to rub the entire turkey with the butter, and put clumps of it both on top of and underneath the skin.  I also put some in the cavity.  As you are rubbing the button on the turkey, feel free to massage it a little.  Just remember, there is a fine line between breaking down muscle and tissue fibers and giving a sensual massage.

Finally, grab a pound of bacon, and drape it all across your turkey.  I put my turkey in, breast up, with bacon covering the breast and the legs.  You can do this however you like, but I find this to yield the best results.  Also, cover the tops of the wings and the bottom of the legs with tin foil.  This will save a burning headache (get it?  cause those parts will burn if not covered?  Oh, forget it.) 



Lastly, tent some foil, shiny side down, over your turkey.  Pre-heat your oven to 325 degrees, and toss that sucker in... in all it's delicious glory.

I baste every 15 - 30 minutes.  This will leave you with moist turkey meat and general succulence.  I also suggest that you remove the bacon and tin foil when you hit the 3 hour mark otherwise it can stick to the skin and ruin the final look of the turkey.  Just keep an eye on it to make sure the skin doesn't get too much color and the wings/legs don't burn.

For an 18-22lb turkey, it should cook for about 4+ hours.  Consult the inter-tubes and/or turkey directions to get exact cooking times and temperatures.


Once it has reached the proper temp (Around 165,) take it out and let it rest for at least 30 minutes (I leave mine for 45+minutes to let the juices redistribute.)  THIS IS IMPORTANT, SO DON'T GET IMPATIENT!!!

Then carve and enjoy. 

To make this complicated mess a little simpler, below you will find a list of all the ingredients you will need:

1 Turkey, fresh/frozen, 18-22lb
1/2 Gallon of Apple Cider
1 Gallon of water
1 Cup salt
1 Cup brown sugar
1 Tablespoon rosemary
1 Tablespoon thyme
2 Tablespoons rubbed sage
Peel of 1 orange
3 Tablespoons peppercorns
4-5 Bay leaves
1 Tablespoon chopped garlic
2 Sticks of salted butter
2 Tablespoons rubbed sage
1 Tablespoon thyme
3 Celery sticks
3 Large carrots
3 Apples
1 Large yellow onion
1 Large red onion
1/4 Cup water
1lb Bacon

BONUS RECIPE!!!!

Gravy is a prerequisite for any holiday meal.  Below are 2 ways of making a gravy with your turkey.

Gravy numero uno... the easy one.  If you have an immersion blender, or just a regular blender take all the juices and aromatics as the turkey is cooling, and blend it up to the desired consistency.  I choose to leave all the fat in, cause it makes it more delicious, but if you must, you can easily skim off some fat prior to blending.

The veggies become nice and roasted, releasing their natural sugars, so this gravy tends to be very sweet.  I like this cause it is easy, but tasty.  Just make sure if you use an immersion blender, wear an apron... I ruined a shirt this year.

Gravy 2: the return.  This one is more traditional.  You will need:

2 Tablespoons salted butter
2 Tablespoons ap flour
Pan Drippings
Stock (chicken of vegetable) - May not be needed, see below

Melt your butter and add your flour into a small pot or sauce pan.  Once it makes a paste, cook it on very low for 5-10 minutes until it is slightly bubbly.  Add the drippings from the roasting pan and cook until it thickens to the desired temperature.  If you don't have enough drippings, or if it becomes too thick/tight, you can thin it with some stock.  Feel free to hit it with some salt and pepper to taste, and even a sprinkling of parsley or thyme for extra freshness.

BONUS BONUS RECIPE!!!

After dinner, once the turkey is fully carved, you can use the carcass to make a turkey stock.  You will need:

2 Gallons of water
1 Turkey carcass
2 Carrots, roughly chopped
2 Celery sticks, roughly chopped
2 Tablespoons thyme
2 Tablespoons rubbed sage
1 Tablespoon parsley

Combine in a stock pot and simmer for 2-3 hours.  The longer you simmer, the more concentrated the flavor will become, but it will also reduce.  Feel your way through by tasting your stock, and once it is where you like it, strain it into a container.  This stock makes great soups, and if reduced to a paste, can become a sauce starter.

Minor note here... Once it is cooled down, it may become gelatinous.  This is actually what you wanna see.  The collagen from the bones is broken down and will make your stock have a jelly like consistency when stored in the fridge.  The fat will also separate to the top, which can be skimmed off if desired.

BONUS BONUS BONUS RECIPE!!!

Ok, not really a recipe, but I wanted to continue the theme.  When your bacon comes off the turkey, microwave it for 20 seconds, and you have a pre-turkey snack.

~Adam

One of my favorite things

Hello,

Ok, so since I haven't actually cooked anything noteworthy in a while, I figured I'd go with yet another movie post (yes, I know, I'm probably becoming a little too repetitive at this point.)  But... very soon I will be making a turkey, so I will save that for the recipe post.  Especially since I am thinking of going with a dry brine (fancy, right?)

I wanted to go with a movie post that anyone would be able to relate to.  What series of movies does everyone love, that everyone would have seen, everyone can talk about to no end, and everyone would appreciate... that's right... GODZILLA!!!!


(::facepalm:: of course, cause everyone just loooooves him as much as I do (not to heavy on the sarcasm I hope (and yes, I am putting multiple parenthesis inside of one another, very meta)))

Enough of that silliness.  I am now going to reveal the definitive listing of Godzilla (or Gojira for the purists) movies.

Movie	Year	Ranking
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla	1974	1
Godzilla vs. Hedorah (Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster)	1971	2
Godzilla (US Distributed)	2014	3
Godzilla: Final Wars	2004	4
The Return of Godzilla (Godzilla 1985)	1984	5
Destroy All Monsters	1968	6
Godzilla vs. Biollante	1989	7
Godzilla vs. Gigan	1972	8
Godzilla Raids Again	1955	9
King Kong vs. Godzilla	1962	10
Godzilla (Godzilla, King of the Monsters)	1954	11
Invasion of Astro-Monster (Godzilla vs. Monster Zero)	1965	12
Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.	2003	13
Mothra vs. Godzilla	1964	14
Godzilla 2000: Millennium (Godzilla 2000)	1999	15
Terror of Mechagodzilla	1975	16
Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster	1964	17
Godzilla, Mothra & King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack	2001	18
Son of Godzilla	1967	19
Godzilla vs. Megalon	1973	20
Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla	2002	21
Godzilla vs. Megaguirus	2000	22
Godzilla vs. Destoroyah	1995	23
Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla	1994	24
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2	1993	25
Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah	1991	26
Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster)	1966	27
Godzilla vs. Mothra (Godzilla & Mothra: The Battle for Earth)	1992	28
Godzilla (US Distributed)	1998	29
All Monsters Attack (Godzilla's Revenge)	1969	30

I am not including any movies that Godzilla appeared in by-proxy, including: Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Ultraman, Always: Sunset on Third Street 2, etc. 

As you might have guessed, I'm obsessed with the big guy.  I have a full set of reasons for why each movie fits into the list as well... but just for the top 5, these are the movies that best exemplify what he is all about.  Pure, unmistakable bad-assery! 

If I don't post before then, please have a wonderful Turkey Day!!

~Adam

Post Gilenya... Tecfidera to the rescue!

Hola,

Ok, so so I'm now on Tecfidera... but the Gilenya continues to be a small thorn in my side.

I had a lengthy conversation with my doctor prior to going on the Gilenya, and although she was hesitant to move me off the injected meds, the options were Gilenya, Tecfidera, and Tysabri.  Tysabri is a monthly IV drip administered in their office or a hospital, so that was out immediately.

We opted for the Gilenya over Tecfidera cause it was around for longer and had more data behind it.

In retrospect, after looking at the potential side effects, Tecfidera was the less risky choice.  I had all the side effects you can have from that stupid medication... just short of my eyes exploding.  Thankfully, nothing has really lingered, with the exception of my liver numbers being slightly elevated.  So even if it didn't give me asthma, I would have needed to stop anyway.  Grrrrrr!

So far so good with the Tecfidera.  Minor flushing a few hours after, so my face turns ever so slightly, bright neon pink.

For my next post I'm debating between a recipe or a movie post.  No idea of a recipe, but I'm thinking a definitive ranking of all Godzilla movies if I go with films.  Time will tell.

Laters,
Adam

P.S. Also, if anyone has any suggestions of good cardio exercises, I'm starting to train to get back in goal (which begs the question if anyone needs a goalie...) let me know.

Just in time for Halloween.

Hello,

Boy has there been a lot of happenings since the last time I wrote... but that'll be for another day.

So... about that movie I promised to talk about.

Sci-fi movies are close to my heart.  Ever since I was a little kid, I loved seeking out movies about giant bugs, space monsters, aliens, etc.  I grew up seeking out and watching all of the classic 1950's B-movies, like Them!, The Thing from Another World, IT Came from Outer Space, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, The Great Behemoth... and the list goes on.

I don't just watch the cheap, campy stuff; I also enjoy the poignant classics and underground stuff that critics rave about.  It's like I say, good horror and sci-fi can offer audiences deep messages that are often subtle, and make you think about or question something.  But that's not the type of movies I am referring to in this post... I'm referring to the fun, silly stuff.

Unfortunately, like with any other medium, for every 1 good sci-fi/horror films there are 10 terrible ones.  Just think of all the stupid titles you have heard of (most of them coming from the once great, now atrocious Syfy channel):

• Ice Spiders
• Frankenfish
• Arachnid
• Sharktopus vs Pteracuda
• Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark
• Croczilla

And the list goes on...

These movies end up with notoriety, like Manos the Hands of Fate (fans of MST3K will be quite familiar with this one.)  Thankfully, once in a while someone will make a film that doesn't take itself to seriously.  Enter Big Ass Spider (yes, I know, stupid name)

This is a fun homage to the old 1950's B-movies, like The Deadly Mantis, The Beginning of the End, The Monster that Challenged the World, etc.  This is a movie that understands what it is, and what their audience wants to see.  It is a giant spider movie coupled with a buddy comedy... which makes for an enjoyable movie.

The plot is tried and true; so don't expect any inventive twists or basic originality... but it is executed well.  An everyday Joe, working as an exterminator, befriends a security guard in an attempt to save the world from a giant, mutant spider (as well as get the girl.)  Its' tongue is firmly in cheek, and has a healthy dose of silly humor.

If you are in the mood for a decent, silly sci-fi movie with humor, action, and a giant monster, I would definitely recommend Big Ass Spider.  It pokes fun at itself and delivers on the main premise... cause that is definitely a big ass spider!

Catch you on the flip side...
Adam

Perplexed, Perturbed, and Other Alliterative P's.

ok ok ok ok ok ... I've beaten my record for shortest amount of time on an multiple sclerosis medication.  I was on Gilenya for a whopping 14 days.

Why'd they take me off, you ask?

CAUSE IT GAVE ME BLEEPING ASTHMA!!!


That's right, I feel like Regular Sized Rudy (courtesy of Bob's Burgers... if you haven't watched that; shame on you... now go find it on Netflix, Amazon Prime, or Hulu.)

As mentioned in my previous posts, I've developed a host of side effects.  As it turns out, the waterlogged feeling I had felt over the past 5 or so days is a form of asthma, which will hopefully go away in a few days after stopping the meds.  After all of the dang tests, insurance woes, and other random headaches, I got to experience a non-injecting medication for 2 weeks.  Here's to hoping for another pill alternative.

Ok. End rant.

My next post will be about a fantastic movie that I saw on Netflix the other day.  I wanna watch it again to put together a half-way decent review for you... But in the meanwhile, I was twitching I was so angry about all this, and just had to vent out here.

Catch you later!
Adam

Gilenya Watch... Day 12!!

Hola (or Holla if you so desire)

Today is the 12th day that I have been on Gilenya, and it has been quite the journey.

At first, I had mentioned that I had barely any side effects.  And damned if I didn't jinx myself.  For the past 72 hours, I have had pretty much ALL of the side effects

::insert angry face and shaking fist here::

The fatigue via slightly decreased heart rate has been there since day one, and has not let up.  Each day I find myself fading fast between noon and 3ish, but with a little sugar or coffee (most of the times together, and in copious amounts) I soldier on.  Then, out of no-where, a bunch of other side effects began hitting me in the middle of the night.  Because if there is ever a time when a side effect is most convenient, it's at 2:30 am.

So far it has been fever, a touch of insomnia (getting 3-4 hours a night,) eye pain, headaches, slight chills, and a waterlogged feeling when I take deep breaths.  This pretty much sums up all of the major, non-injection related side effects I had on all the other drugs.  So all things considered, I'd still take this drug over anything involving a needle.

oOo, I found the perfect disgruntled face to accompany my theoretical shaking fist:



(To quote Archer, which is possibly the best TV show out there...) To top this "suck salad," I get to sprinkle the bacon bits of having trouble procuring more Gilenya.  My insurance is dragging their feet in approving my shipment; but thankfully Novartis is sending me a stop-gap, 7 day supply.  Hopefully that resolves itself soon.

On another note, today marks my one year wedding anniversary.  It's been a year of extreme ups and downs, and my amazing wife has supported me through all of it.  She is my rock (to be cliched, but completely true.)  I am truly the luckiest man on earth, and I am grateful for every day she is by my side.

I'll let you all know what happens.

Until next time
Adam

Gilenya watch... 2014

Hello Everyone!

I have been on a sabbatical lately because I wanted to play something close to the vest.  I have just undergone the first dose observation for Gilenya!

I was finally able to schedule the first dosage for yesterday after a very arduous year of undergoing tests, getting vaccinations, and sifting through multiple sets of conflicting information and directions.  Even the scheduling of an appointment ended up being problematic, as it took several angry phone calls to get in touch with the scheduling department of my neurologists department.

I was cautiously optimistic after getting my appointment (funny enough, one person told me to show up at 8am and another called to confirm and told me to show up at 9am... I aired on the side of caution and showed up at 7:45am) due to issues I've had in the past with this neurologists office.  The only reason I put up with this place is because they are some of the most highly regarded MS specialists around.

All complaining aside, I got in early yesterday morning, and after a few pieces of paperwork, I got right in.  I was pleasantly surprised at how noninvasive the whole process was.  To re-cap, the first dosage of Gilenya must be monitored in a doctors office for at least 6 hours due to the potential of the drug lowering your heart rate and blood pressure.  I took my first pill at approximately 8am yesterday morning, and so far, so good.

The PA who was assigned to me throughout the day took my blood pressure and heart rate every 30 minutes on the dot between 8am and 2pm.  I wasn't allowed to leave the premises, and was made to walk around the office every hour or so.  The PA was very nice, and was even able to wrangle up the wifi password for my wife and I so we can get some work done (and watch some Hulu.)  Everything went smoothly, and my BP never really dropped the whole day.

Once the 6 hours were over with, I had to run and get an EKG.  That was the only frustrating part of the entire day.  I got right in at an urgent care center, but was unfortunately the victim of a student learning process.  It took an inordinate amount of time to get the EKG situated, which is frustrating since the test itself takes 30 seconds.

I have had about a half dozen EKGs in my time... and I have never had an issue with the sensors sticking to my skin.  That was, until yesterday.  Having a bit of hair coverage on my chest (not to Robin Williams levels, but still...) they were unable to get the probes to stick.  As you can guess, I now have 2 shaved patches on my chest (and several small cuts because they were a little too quick and dirty with the razor!)  But, again... complaining aside, everything was fine.

My pulse rate has dropped to about 60ish since I had gotten home last night.  I normally sit around 75ish, so I've been completely wiped out since yesterday morning.  For the past 30 hours or so, I have been struggling to stay awake; even though I actually slept for 10 of those hours.  I'm hoping this normalizes sooner rather than later.

I will keep on progress reporting as things move along.  The next step will be follow ups for my eyes (Gilenya can cause macular adema) and a follow up with the neurologist for blood work ups and MRI results... Fingers crossed, cause I wanna stay on this to avoid any more dang needles!

A bientot!
Adam

Back after a period of neglect

Hello,

I should first apologize for neglecting my blog for so long.  I have been caught up in a slew of projects, including some good ol'fashion hard labor at the old (actually new) homestead.  But I digress.

I've mentioned in some of my previous posts that I am hoping to begin taking Gilenya soon.  In fact, I'm hoping I'm getting within striking distance.  I have recently gone through a ton of screening procedures to start this dang drug, and I'm now awaiting word on taking the first dose.

I've never heard of a drug needing a screening process, but this one included:

• EKG
• Eye Exam
• Chickenpox Vaccine
• Full Blood Workup

This has been quite the pain.  I started this whole headache a year ago, when I told my doctor that I couldn't deal with the side effects of Betaseron anymore.  After some reluctant conversation with my doctor, a consult, and yet another EMG test, it was decided to try Gilenya (it was actually a tie between Gilenya, Tecfidera, and another medication whose name escapes me.)

Tecfidera, which is an oral medication, hasn't been on the market for very long, so I was hesitant to start something that was barely proven.  The other medication was a monthly infusion that needed to be administered at a hospital.  This wasn't a very attractive option, as I didn't wanna deal with needles anymore (let alone an IV every month) and getting to a hospital each month opens up another conversation I won't get into now.  Therefore, Gilenya was the best option.  This is where the headache really started.

About 2 years prior, I was offered the ability to begin a drug trial for a new oral medication for MS.  I wanted to enter the trial, but everyone was against it.  And I mean everyone... parents, my future wife, sister and brother-in-law, and my doctor.  I decided against it, but with everyone giving some valid points, I decided against it.

Guess the name of that drug?  Yup, Gilenya.

Putting that aside, I now had to do through the gauntlet of screenings.  I had to put things off until the recently for a few reasons I will not get into, but have just become able to start the first dosage.  The wording of the previous sentence may seem odd, but there is a reason for that.  The first dosage of Gilenya has to be monitored prior to beginning everyday usage.

Gilenya can cause a drop in heart rate upon the first dosage.  Therefore, they need to monitor a patient for the first 6 hours after the dosage.  This had caused some complications for older patients and patients with heart problems during the trial phase.  There has also been instances of macular edema recorded as well (inflammation of the optic nerve,) but has been very rare.  Thankfully, I have no indicators for either.

There had also been a mix-up as to whether or not I needed to get the chickenpox vaccine (which I had to take and required at least 2 months of waiting before I was able to take the Gilenya afterwards.)  There was also a mix-up with the EKG.  I had taken one, but too much time passed when I re-visited the issue and was forced to take a second.  Needless to say, this has not been a smooth transition.

The first dose requires me to be in the doctors office for at least 6 hours.  For anyone who knows that office, they will know this will equate to 6 hours of torture.  I will also be torturing my wife, as I need someone with me the whole time, so at least there's that ;)

I'll let you all know how it goes, but keep your fingers crossed that I am able to get this rolling.

Thanks,
Adam

Multiple Sclerosis and Fatigue

Hola,

I have to preemptively qualify this entire post.  My spirit animal is the sloth.  If left to my own devices (and without this minor inconvenience we call life) I would gladly do nothing all day.  I can be quite lazy.


Look at that face... that is the face of pure contentment.

The fatigue brought on by my Multiple Sclerosis is troublesome, because it can give me an easy excuse not do things.  It becomes a battle between myself and my fatigue... sometimes in pursuit of the mundane.  But fatigue is far from exclusive to Multiple Sclerosis.  There are a host of other diseases, injuries, disorders, issues, etc. that can cause fatigue.  Heck, fatigue is a basic symptom of life.

I have been on a crusade to alleviate my fatigue.  Ever since I was diagnosed, fatigue has been a constant symptom ranging from moderate to severe.  After trying dozens of potential remedies, I have found a couple that actually.  I thought I'd share, being that this may be the first actual, bonafide piece of helpful writing I've offered.

Vitamin B12 - I have started taking B12, and have found that it really does help.  I'm usually very skeptical of supplements, but I really feel a burst of energy after taking this.

Vitamin D - There's plenty of conflicting literature out there on vitamin D.  There are medical journals that say the vitamin D supplement is a must have in anyone's repertoire, and others say it is useless in pill form.  I have taken vitamin D with Glucosamine, and did feel a bit more energetic.  The Glucosamine is supposed to help with joint pain, so it's hard to say if vitamin D had any real effect.  There may even be a bit of placebo effect for this one.

Exercise - This one can be tough and counter intuitive.  It is quite difficult to get up and get moving when you are fatigued, but trust me on this one... it helps.  Even if you are just able to do a little walking every day, it will get the blood pumping.  It will be tough to start, and even tougher to continue, but after a while it will begin to give you more energy.  This is probably the best thing you can do for a laundry list of reasons that I don't even need to talk about here.

Good'ol Grittin' Your Teeth - This is similar to getting exercise in a way... although it's more akin to will power.  If there is a task you are putting off due to the fatigue, it's good to occasionally fight the fatigue and get out there.  No matter what it is that you are gonna do, getting moving will get blood pumping and the activity will stimulate your mind.

The "Holding Your Breath" Trick - This is a pigeon-holed trick.  There are times when we are all at meetings, family functions, classes, etc. and find ourselves falling asleep.  No matter how hard we fight, we seem to get more and more tired.  The trick is simple... hold your breath.  In 30 second clips, hold your breath and exhale slowly.  Take a few moments in between holding your breath, and increase the time you hold it for 5 seconds or so.  This forces your circulatory system to work harder, making your blood pump a little harder.  This will help wake you up.

Sugar and Caffeine - Either of these are last resorts.  They will give you a burst of energy, but come with bounce back.  Sugar and caffeine can get you through a particular task or help you get moving, but you will crash; making the initial fatigue worse.

If you know of anything else to try, please let me know... I'm always looking for the next best thing; because otherwise, you know,...




Thanks,
Adam

Adam's Top 10 Zombie Movies

Hola,

I wanted to take another detour from the whole MS thing, so I figured I would switch over to another passion of mine: Film.  I love movies, and one of the more popular genres at the moment are zombie films.

My first exposure to zombie films came as a freshman in high school.  Up until then, my exposure to horror movies included Scream, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Halloween, etc.  That all changed when a friend gave me a VHS of Dawn of the Dead ('78) and Day of the Dead ('85.)  These films had a profound impact on me.  The tense atmospheres, graphic violence, and the underlying messages effectively changed my life.

This launched an obsession that lasted for years.  I began seeking out every critically acclaimed and notorious films in the genre.  When those ran out, I started looking for less popular and critically panned movies... and even looked for underground and homemade z-grade films.  There were amazing movies, and movies that were amazingly bad... but all worked to satiate my desire to see more and more of the genre.

In recent years I have become disillusioned with the genre.  Up until 2004's Dawn of the Dead remake, zombies were an underground sub-genre.  The '04 Dawn brought zombies into the limelight, and now anyone with a camera and a couple of bucks can make one.  The dozens and dozens of movies, mostly horrendous, have diluted what was once my favorite type of film.  This has all culminated with the horrible World War Z (2013,) which I am hoping killed this new trend.

I have written about this before, but never in this level of detail.  Out of the dozens and dozens of zombie films, I have narrowed down my 10 favorites.  You may recognize some entries on this list, but I suspect that the majority will be brand new to most.  Some of these are famous, while others are notorious... but for any fellow horror movie enthusiast, these are movies to seek out.

1 - Day of the Dead (1985)  This is an obligatory entry, as almost everyone is familiar with the original George Romero zombie trilogy.  Our of those films, I consider Day of the Dead to be the golden standard.  Night of the Living Dead ('68) has the most poignant of all messages, and was quite revolutionary at the time; but it is slow moving and somewhat sloppy.  Dawn of the Dead ('78) is more of a comic book romp, and is as cartoonish as it is bleak.  Day of the Dead is the most disturbing of the trilogy.  Romero takes a deep look at the Regan years and the miliary industrial complex, and it makes you give up all hope in humanity.  I feel that this is the zombie movie that all others should be measured by... especially via gratuitous violence.

2 - Zombi (1979)  This is one of the more notorious zombie films of all time.  Also known as Zombi 2 or Zombie Flesh Eaters, it was marketed as the sequel to Dawn of the Dead ('78) (released as Zombi/Zombie) in European markets.  Lucio Fulci crafted one of the most claustrophobic environments I have ever seen in a horror film.  The special effects in Zombi are unparalleled, and are quite something for those who enjoy gory films.  This is an unrelenting film that has a breakneck pace, and is unapologetic. (If you do end up watching this movie, please mentally prepare yourself for some very realistic gore)

3 - Shaun of the Dead  The single best horror comedy this side of Young Frankenstein.  There are a tremendous amount homages paid to the genre, so many that it took multiple viewings to notice them all.  The reason I have this as high on the list as I do is a combination of the intelligent humor and the overt message about society.  The resonating message of the film is that we are all zombies, blindly marching through our daily lives... to the point that a zombie outbreak would not only go unnoticed, but would barely interfere with our society.

4 - The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (1974)  This is the first real "rip-off" of Night of the Living Dead ('68.)  I believe that the film itself is not as well crafted as Night, but the messages contained therein are much more interesting.  Manchester Morgue is a take on the militant, hyper conservative state of the U.K. at the time; but also has a powerful message concerning our treatment of the environment.  It's an interesting film... one that I believe any zombie film fan should see.

5 - The Beyond (1981)  Another entry for Lucio Fulci just highlights how his work in the genre was groundbreaking (albeit never copied or fully appreciated in its' time.)  Italian horror from the early 1970's through mid 1980's saw some truly mind bending, thought provoking, and shocking films.  The Beyond is a perfect example of how a non-linear concept can be used to keep your audience on edge.  The Beyond has no real underlying message, but has textbook usage of Gothic imagery and themes that can easily hit a nerve.  This is one of my absolute favorite films of all time... but make sure you are not easily spooked before watching it.

6 - [REC] (2007)  I have to clarify my position on this film right off the bat.  I hate... and I mean HATE... the found footage genre.  Out of all the films that use this device, only 3 are worth watching, [REC] being one of them (the other 2, FYI, are Cannibal Holocaust and The Bay.)  [REC] is a Spanish entry into the zombie genre, and although it keeps to tried and true plot points, there are some genuinely scary moments.  There was an English version, released as Quarantine, which was practically scene for scene, word for word.. but I feel the Spanish version is more entertaining.

7 - Undead (2003)  Undead is akin to Shaun of the Dead in its' hilarity, but goes an extra step further in the gore and ridiculousness department.  This Australian addition to the genre is also the first cross over (at least that I'm aware of) that mixes zombies and other creature types (I don't wanna give anything away, but I assure you that nothing moves in the direction you think it will.)  The humor is very organic and the action sequences are quite entertaining.  If you get the chance, definitely get your hands on Undead; and as you watch, remember to ask the question: "Where in the heck did he get those guns??"

 8 - The Dead (2010) This is the most recent entry in the list, and is probably the only good zombie film made in the last few years.  There are several underlying themes throughout this movie, and is very thought provoking.  Most zombie films glance over characters, and even plot, in favor of grand action or intense gore.  The Dead takes you on an intimate journey with your main character; and you only see events through his perspective.  This is one of the few movies in the zombie genre that focuses on character development.  I am very eager for the sequel that should hit the states in the next few months.

9 - Dead Alive (AKA Braindead - 1992)  Dead Alive is the brain child of Peter Jackson, and is another notorious entry.  This film is silly and ludicrous at times, but spares no expense on the gore.  This has a rather unique plot, and will keep you both laughing and grossed out.  Dead Alive also boasts one of the most insane end sequence that piles up an insurmountable body count.  This is probably the most unique entry in this list, and one that is a can't miss for both zombie and Peter Jackson fans.

10 - Tokyo Zombie (2005)  I wrestled with which movie should sit in the final spot, and decided that another lighthearted film was just a little better than some of the others.  Tokyo Zombie is based after a series of Manga comic books, and is shot to feel like a comic book romp.  It is a quirky film with lots of silly moments, but is one of the more endearing zombie films around.

Honorable Mentions
There are just so many zombie films out there that it is very difficult to narrow the field down to 10.  I had almost made this a list of top 15, but decided to go with the obligatory 10.  Below are a few movies that should definitely be mentioned, and ultimately viewed.

-Pontypool:  This is a recent film out of Canada, and the setting of the film is what makes it stand out.  There is very little action in the film, but it is none the less tense as you are in the midst of piecing events together from the perspective of a radio show host.

-28 Days Later:  I always question whether or not 28 Days and 28 Weeks should be included in a zombie discussion.  Ultimately, the antagonists are not really "zombies" per se, but the same basic conflict exists.  28 Days Later is just a more focused version of The Crazies (1973.)  The action sequences are very well crafted, and leave you with a sense of helplessness.

-Fido:  Fido has a novel premise: what if humans were able to domesticate zombies in the midst of a zombie apocalypse?  This film also explores the concept of what constitutes humanity, although it's a very thin exploration.  I feel that this is a solid zombie comedy and a must see for any zombie enthusiast.

-Dead Snow (Dod Sno):  This was almost my 10th choice for the aforementioned list.  This is a fast paced, zombie nazi film with a touch of organic humor.  Dead Snow also marks the very first successful entry for the zombie nazi... many have tried before, and all have failed.  There is also a sequel coming out later this year that I am very jazzed for.

-The Mad:  This is one of those films that should be better received than it is.  The Mad has a solid cast and an obvious concept that has not, for some strange reason, been used before.  After watching The Mad, although not the most serious of films but by no means a comedy, made me wonder at the plausibility of certain scenarios.  (In fact, there was a great article on Cracked many moons ago that sorta hits on this topic: 5 Scientific Ways a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen)

I'm definitely up for discussion on this one, as I fully expect to have snubbed certain fan favorites.

Thanks for reading,
Adam

BBQ Sauce... A Multiple Sclerosis Tale

Hola,

Soooo, the title needs clarification, so here's the full story.

One of the many medications I have taken throughout the years for my Multiple Sclerosis is Solu Medrol.  Thats fancy talk for an powerful IV steroid drip.  I have been on it a few times since my diagnosis on an average of once every 2 years.  It will usually come with a prednizone chaser, and is meant to suppress the immune system from attacking the myelin sheath so the body can do some healing.

Now you would think that after all of those steroids, you would think I could hit a home run out of any ballpark, but no such luck.  Blegh!

Sometime in the future I will do an entire post dedicated to Solu Medrol, but to make a long story short, I am forced to be hooked up to an IV for 5 hours a day over 5 days.  During that time, since my immune system is completely shot, I am quarantined to the house.  Needless to say, I get a touch of cabin fever.

The first time I took these steroids, I was forced to have a chaperone the entire time.  By day 4, I was going out of my mind; and my sister drew the short straw and had to babysit me.  Now, this was the summer between undergrad and graduate school, so I had nothing pertinent to do.  Most people would watch TV or movies, played video games, start reading or even writing a book... but not me.  I decided this was the perfect time to make BBQ sauce.

I had never made BBQ sauce before, so I looked up recipes that morning, and started cooking away.  Mind you, I decided to start this as I was knee deep in treatment, with an IV stuck in my wrist.

There I was, running around, cutting onions, pouring sauces, mixing spices, and dragging my IV bag around the kitchen.  The entire time, Jaime is telling me that I should just sit and relax, and wait 2 days to make my completely unnecessary BBQ sauce.  But I'm good a stubborn; until about 20 minutes later, when I hear Jai tell me, in a very calm voice: "Adam, please sit down."

I brushed off the comment and mumbled something about being done in a few minutes and that I was doing fine.  Jaime got a little more stern: "Adam, SIT DOWN."  I look at her, confused, until she tells me to look at my IV.

All the running around caused me to back up into the IV bag.

I began to panic.

We began to call everyone and anyone we could think to call, until we finally got through to a nurse.  There was a simple simple solution, but the moral of the story is if you are hooked up to an IV, don't make BBQ sauce.  I know that will be, not only a useful piece of advice, but one that will stick with you for quite some time.

In summation, if you have the chance, nay the orders, to rest: THEN REST!

Thanks,
Adam

Betaseron, the Final Frontier (for now at least)

Hello,

To finish off the trifecta of medications I have been on, I moved from Copaxone to Betaseron.  Betaseron is yet another interferon medication that is a subcutaneous injection taken once every other day.  When discussing next steps after the Copaxone debacle, there were a few more options on the table.  Rebif was one of the more popular drugs that came up in conversation, but was too close in chemical makeup to both Avonex and Copaxone... so that was quickly dismissed.  There was also a monthly IV infusion available, but dragging my behind to the hospital once a month to be hooked up to an IV seemed like a final resort.

So Betaseron seemed to be the best option.

For Betaseron, I would have to mix the medication (as I had previously for Avonex) and inject myself via an injection pen (as I had previously for Copaxone,) so this was a weird combination of the elements of my previous medications.  I would continue to pre-medicate with Excedrin Migraine, and inject myself in one of the many rotating sites (similar to the Avonex, I was able to inject via triceps, thigh, stomach, and butt.)

The difficult part of both Betaseron and Copaxone was remembering what day to inject.  I quickly found that reminders via computer or mobile calendar were the most effective (although my wife was an integral part of remembering when to take my meds.)  The second most difficult part for Betaseron was injecting anywhere but my thigh and stomach, as I had to twist into a pretzel in order to properly align the needle (trust me... a misalignment is disastrous.)  

For the first year or so, I seemed to tolerate Betaseron well.  I had minimal site reactions and the side effects weren't nearly as severe as Avonex.  Unfortunately, that began to turn as I built up more and more scar tissue in my rotation sites.  I would try my best to avoid hitting close to a previous injection site, but I seemed to develop tough skin develop across the entire acceptable injection zone.  This began causing some severe site reactions.  I would have blaring pain for days after an injection (which was especially difficult after a butt day since I spend all day on my backside at work,) and had an awful time getting the pen to dispense the full injection.

I began to develop that horrible anxiety on shot day, much like I did for Avonex.  The major difference was that Betaseron was every other day... not once a week; so I was in a constant state of fear of my medication.   The injection difficulties led to more severe side effects as well.  On days where I had an especially difficult injection (the needle taking an extra long time to dispense or excessive site bleeding) I would experience chills and flu-like symptoms that were unparalleled.  As my wife can attest, I would be unable to warm myself and would shake as though I were laying on a block of ice in the Arctic Ocean.  Being that I would inject at about 7pm every other evening, this made for many sleepless nights.  

I was on Betaseron until recently (about 3.5 years total.)  The site reactions and side effects were becoming unbearable, prompting another conversation on changing meds.  I am currently going through a screening process for Gilenya (an ordeal in and of itself,) which I am actually kinda happy about.  Gilenya is one of the few oral medications becoming more prevalent for the treatment of Multiple Sclerosis; and I am eager to begin and report on my progress.

It is definitely noteworthy to discuss the injector pen designed for Betaseron.  In my last post I discussed the difficulty in dialing in the depth for injecting Copaxone via their injection pen, but neglected to mention the ease of operating the safety mechanism and trigger.  The injection pen for Betaseron is the complete oposite.  There is no mechanism for dialing in the depth of the needle, but the safety mechanism and trigger are difficult to use.  There is a button that you must push while sliding the rear part of the handle towards the center of the pen in order to inject.  This is difficult, as it takes a ton of pressure to slide the handle (which acts as the safety mechanism) prior to being able to depress the trigger button... and this can cause you to jam the pen too far into the skin and inject too deep.

I would try to hold the front of the pen while pressing the handle inwards in order to take pressure off of the skin, but this would require twisting in unnatural positions in order to properly inject.  This was uncomfortable and could cause me to inject at a less than ideal angle.  Sometimes I would forgo using the injector pen (manual injection was possible for Betaseron and has its' own set of instructions,) but I was never a fan of self-injecting (see my previous post on Avonex.)  Icing the injection spot until way past numb became my best friend.

I will hopefully be starting Gilenya in a couple of months.  I figure I'll be willing to endure more side effects (not that their are any listed that aren't indicative of the other MS medications) if it means a trade off for injections and injection site reactions.  Here's to hoping that this all comes together quickly.

Thanks for reading
Adam

p.s. I figure I've droned on enough about more depressing stuff, so I'll try and break it up with another non-MS related post next time.  Thanks for sticking with me.

More on Multiple Sclerosis Medications

Hello Again,

Let us pick up where we left off...

So once Avonex ceased to be a viable option for treating my Multiple Sclerosis, my doctor and I decided to try a medication with a very similar chemical makeup (or at least that's how it was explained to me.)  My case of MS was responding well to the Avonex, yet the side effects were too much so we thought a similar medication may have the benefit without the side effects.

Unfortunately, this was a very inaccurate assumption. 

After about a month of taking nothing so the current medication would be out of my system, I began taking Copaxone.  A nurse came to my house, had me fill out a ton of paperwork, and taught me how to administer this injectable.  This medication makes use of an injector pen; and since this was going to be the first time I've used anything like that, I needed some coaching. 

The Copaxone needles came with pre-mixed meds, so it needed to be taken out and brought to room temperature about a half an hour before use.  I had to pre-medicate with an over the counter pain reliever, load the pen, dial in the depth of the injection, and shoot away.  I was given a list of acceptable injection locations (many more for Copaxone versus Avonex) and instructed to take one dose every other day.  I quickly learned that the dialing of the injector depth was the first problem.

No matter what depth I dialed it into, I experienced horrible injection site reactions.  If it was too deep, I would have incredible pain, followed by tons of bleeding and seepage of the medication.  Too shallow, and I ended up with a bubble of medication under my skin... As you can image, that's not a great thing to have.  I talked with a dozen nurses from both my insurance company and the Copaxone manufacturer, and no one was able to help me figure out the correct depth.  I still, to this day, think that there is no correct  depth for this injector pen, and I've subsequently found that many other injectors don't allow for the adjustment of depth... I think this is a major design flaw.

Secondly, and more importantly, I began having allergic reactions.  It started with hives after each injection.  I spoke with a few of the neurologists at my doctors office, and I was asked to try Benadryl as a pre-med.  Unfortunately, the hives persisted until I went into full anaphylaxis one evening.  My entire body swelled, had a back spasm, and began having difficulty breathing.  Thankfully, I was still living with my parents and was able to bang on the wall enough to get my fathers' attention.

I had only made it about 5 months on Copaxone before the allergic reaction.  I immediately came off the drug, and quickly had to go to round 3.  The next one stuck from that point until a few months ago, but that's for the next post.

Thanks for reading,
Adam

Multiple Sclerosis Meds... The Great (Hopefully) Equalizer

Hello,

There are few different flavors of Multiple Sclerosis; and more than a few different flavors of medication.  There are injectables, IV administered, pills; and they can be daily, every other day, weekly, monthly, etc.  In my experience, it is good that we have all of these options, because they all come with their own challenges.

For the first 3 years, I took a drug called Avonex.  Avonex, an interferon medication, was a once a week injection.  Whereas many injections are subcutaneous, Avonex is an intramuscular; meaning that you have to penetrate into the muscle and not just through the skin. For me, this was torture.  Every Friday, I would have to stick myself with an inch and a half long needle in one of several locations, inject slowly, and withdraw.  I did not have an easy time with this.

There are multiple spots where you can inject (top of thigh, side of thigh, butt, etc.) but I found that the only place where I could successfully inject was my thigh; both top and side.  I'm not a squeamish person, and I have a very high pain tolerance, but as the weeks, months, and years passed, I developed a severe anxiety come injection time.  I had a hard time penetrating the skin with the needle, and felt every millimeter of that metal slide in and out.  To make matters worse, I had hit a nerve more than once... making me even more afraid every time I unsheathed the needle.

Once the needle was extracted, I would bleed like a stuck pig (wonderful imagery, I know | unfortunately I'm a bleeder; found this out the first time I gave blood and frightened all the nurses when I was very close to needing cauterization.)  I would need to massage the injection site and put pressure on it for 20+ minutes each time.

You would think that once the actual injection was over that I was free and clear, but no, that was only the eye of the hurricane. About 4-6 hours after the injection, the side effects would kick in; and subsequently kick my butt.

I would take my injection every Friday evening between 7-10 pm, and take a dose of Excedrin Migraine about 30 minutes prior to help minimize side effects.  I would drift to sleep easily, hoping to make it through the night without incident, BUT NEIGH!  In the middle of the night, the severe chills would start.  I would pile on clothes and blankets, put on hot compresses and heating pads, drink copious amounts of tea and other hot beverages... but until it passed, I was gonna shiver uncontrollably (I have actually chattered my teeth so much that my jaw would be sore the next day.)  I would usually carry flu-like symptoms for at least a day, most often 2 days; meaning that I would finally recover just in time for work... oh the irony.

I tried everything I could think of to make the whole process easier.  I would ice the injection spots until they were numb, double up on my pre-meds, have plenty of fluids, bundle up in order to preempt the chills, etc.  I even read about some people having a glass or two of wine just before to ease their way through (probably not something any of us should promote, even though some of these MS meds have no drug or alcohol interactions.)  Alas, nothing worked.  Most people would record a reduction in number and severity of symptoms as time progressed, but mine seemed to ramp up.  This was compounded by a build up of scar tissue in my injection sites.

My Multiple Sclerosis did respond well to Avonex, but the side effects were taking a tremendous toll.  I spoke to my neurologist, and after a few more months and additional attempts at mitigating strategies, we decided to change medications.  Ultimately, my next set of meds would go much, much worse... but I'll save that for my next posting.

Thanks for reading,
Adam

p.s. I should mention that the medications I will be talking about for this post, and the next 2 or 3 are meant to stave off Multiple Sclerosis attacks.  There are another host of medications that I will discuss in the future that are meant to repair the damage caused by an attack.

Dancing (Quite Strangely) in the Moonlight

Hello,

Let us talk about symptoms (you can feel free to place a "baby" at the end of that sentence if you read it in the style of Salt and Peppa.)  Multiple Sclerosis has about 9 billion possible symptoms, ranging from minor annoyances to crippling horrors.  I myself have experienced about a dozen or so symptoms; and they have ranged from minor annoyances to disconcertingly life altering. (Nothing worse so far ::knocks on wood::)

This is the area that holds a stigma for Multiple Sclerosis sufferers.  Many have a distinct view in their head of what a sufferer looks like... and from what I am usually told, it usually involves a wheelchair.  Symptoms are one of the two main topics that I wish to open some dialogue (wishful thinking that anyone is reading) about.  (To find out the other, you will just have to keep on reading, now don't you?)

We had discussed my first symptom, as the left half of my body went numb from the neck down.  It wasn't severe and didn't effect my balance or gate; but it was noticeable and bothersome.  I had "pins and needles" tingling and a dampened feel to the touch.  I was aware that I was touching something, or being touched, but it was no where near normal; hard for me to explain actually.

Within the next few months, I had a couple of other major symptoms rear their ugly heads.  First, I had this strange "electrical shock" feeling shoot down my spine with I craned my neck down.  It wasn't terribly painful, but it was uncomfortable.  Then there way my major symptom: severe numbness and weakness in my left leg.  This was strange, and altered my life for a long time.  If I were seated for a long time, or was siting on a hard surface for any more than 5 minutes, I would have an awful time standing up and walking.  My left leg would go numb to the point where I barely had control over it, and I would feel the "pins and needles" tingling to the point of intense pain.

I had a number of other symptoms, including from decreased grip strength, intermittent numbness in the hands and feet, and severe fatigue (which has been a constant since my diagnosis.)  Yet, out of all this, the problems with my left leg were the absolute worst.  I tried to hide this as long as I could, but my walking progressively deteriorated and I was unable to keep people from noticing; prompting me to invest in a cane to steady myself (funny enough, this is how I ended up letting many of my friends know about my diagnosis.)

I have had a number of steroid treatments (pills and IV bags) over the years, and many of my symptoms have come and gone.  (In fact, the leg issue has hit me on 3 separate occasions, my left leg, then both legs, and then back to the left leg.)  Currently, I am (for the most part) asymptomatic.  I still have the severe weakness, which has never dissipated over the past 7+ years, some intermittent numbness in the hands (I'm told the Scrabble word for this is paresthesia,) and some minor leg numbness.

I have heard about a myriad of symptoms that can manifest with Multiple Sclerosis, and can include vision problems, bladder and bowel control problems, numbness and tingling, itchiness, uncontrollable movements, etc.  One of the many struggles an MS patient has is not focusing on the possible future; because it is the most important to focus on how to live healthy, properly maintain all medications, and enjoy life.

Thanks for reading,
Adam

A welcomed change of topic... My Favorite Meatball Recipe!

Hello,

In order to take a break from the downward tone of my first few blog entries, I have decided to diverge slightly from the main topic of Multiple Sclerosis.  I figured I would switch over to something I know a lot about and is one of my passions: Food.

I love to cook... It's one of my favorite pastimes.  Food can be the great equalizer, bringing people together and making people happy.  When I cook (and make something somewhat edible) I can make people smile, make people happy.  I love that feeling... the feeling of being able to create something that others enjoy.  In a way, cooking has helped fill the gap left by my inability to play music.

I am on a cooking mission (I have heard the audio tape and tossed it before it self destructed): find the perfect meatball recipe.  The meatball is one of the greatest culinary triumphs when done correctly, and there are hundreds of variations out there.  Below is one of my favorite recipes, and I hope that it becomes one of yours.

1lb Ground Beef
3/4 Cup Grated Parmigiano Reggiano
1/2 Cup Well-Crumbled Ricotta Salata
1 Cup Italian Seasoned Bread Crumbs
2 Large Eggs
1 Cup Red Wine
1/4 Cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
2 Tablespoons Dried Parsley
1/2 Teaspoon Powdered Garlic
1/2 Teaspoon Crushed Red Pepper

Combine ground beef, Parmigiano, Ricotta, bread crumbs, eggs, parsley, garlic, and red pepper.  Mix until incorporated; make sure you don't over work the meat.  Your hands are the best mixing tool.  Form into balls (I tend to do a palm sized, but you can use any size you like... just adjust your cooking time.)  Place on a plate or in a bowl, covered, and set aside in the fridge for between 20-30 minutes.

Heat the olive oil on medium heat and brown meatballs on all sides.  Drain any fat and oil, set meatballs in the pan over low heat, and add the red wine.  Simmer at low temperature for 3-5 minutes on each side.  Transfer to your favorite gravy (red sauce for the uninitiated) and cook for at least 1 hour.

Bonus Recipe: My favorite gravy.

1 Tablespoon Finely Chopped Garlic
1 Medium Yellow Onion, Quartered
2 Tablespoons Dried Parsley
1 Tablespoon Dried Basil
1/2 Tablespoon Crushed Red Pepper
1/2 Tablespoon Granulated Sugar
2 Tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil
2 Cans of Crushed Tomatoes (28oz)
1/2 Cup Water
1/4 Cup Red Wine
1lb Italian Sausage (I prefer spicy, but use your favorite)
1/2lb Boneless Pork Loin (Cubed)
1/2lb Skirt Steak (Cubed)
1lb Meatballs (See Above)

Brown the pork, steak, and sausage in olive oil.  Add garlic and onion and saute until the garlic is browned.  Add tomatoes, parsley, basil, red pepper, water, red wine, and sugar.  Heat through on low heat.  Add meatballs and continue to cook for at least 1 hour.

I hope you enjoy.

Thanks,
Adam

The Aftermath

Hello,

Ok, so in my last post I discussed that awful period of limbo between realizing you have a medical issue and the understanding of the root cause.  That had to be the most difficult part of the process, as it was the most frightening.  Yet, although it was the most difficult part, it wasn't the worst.  That came immediately after.

Initially I had been diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis (I know, I know, I'm sounding like a broken record, but I have to reiterate) and I immediately went into a depression.  On the outside I maintained a positive outlook (at least I think I did,) and said things like "this will not define me" and "I won't let this defeat me."  But on the inside, I wasn't coping with it well.  I had immediately began researching it, and dove right into the pool of hypochondria.  I began wondering if that random pain was a symptom, or if that headache I had was progression, or if it wasn't time just for new glasses and I was loosing my sight... I went down the rabbit hole.

One of the major triggers for this was my new inability to play the violin.  That was one of my biggest and most therapeutic outlets.  No matter what was going on in my life, I could just pick up my instrument and everything would melt away.  For me, music wasn't just something to enjoy; it was something that had changed my life and was part of how  I defined myself.  Now, it had been ripped from me. 

(I should note that I was not particularly good at playing the violin, but I did enjoy it.  Heck, the hardest thing I could play was Summer from the Four Seasons... and pending on who you asked, it may have been painful to listen to.)

I gained weight almost immediately.  Now, I have always been chubby and will most likely always be chubby... but between my diagnosis in 2006/2007 and 2011, I went from being 185ish to over 240 (not great for a guy who's 5'6'', no matter how stocky I call myself.)  This has haunted me ever since, as now I'm in the 210 range... still way to big for my height.

Another kick in the pants came when I began having trouble walking.  I had intermittent numbness in my left side, greatly effecting the way I walk.  I began using a cane to steady myself, and at many times came quite close to some nasty falls.  This put a major dent, and ultimately ended, my other major passion and outlet: Hockey.  Since I was 6, I've played hockey, both ice and roller.  I love it.  I practically eat, breathe, and sleep it.  To that point, I had been a goaltender for all my life, and I saw that slowly slip away.

Surrounding all of this, I had a very stressful job at the time (I was an RA in undergrad, and an RD for half my graduate career.)  There were also some less than ideal relationships that contributed to this rough patch; but I wholeheartedly blame myself.  I became afraid of the "what's to come" and forgot about the  here and now.  I took comfort in food, and let myself wallow in self pity, and closed myself off from friends when I should have been grabbing life by the short and curly hairs.

Thankfully, now I have a much more (actual) positive outlook.  And I got here through a couple of realizations.  First, I realized that no matter what you go through in this life, there are a million others who are dealing with things far worse.  (As an RA/RD I saw some of these things first hand)  Secondly, this life doesn't have sympathy; so it's up to you to pick yourself up and take things one fight at a time.  My tertiary nugget of wisdom (if you can call any of this wisdom) is to surround yourself with a support structure if possible.  I was lucky enough to have a wonderful support structure (loving family, loving gf who is now my wife, great friends) that helped me pick myself up each time I was knocked down.

Hopefully there is a take-away somewhere in all that noise.

Thanks,
Adam

p.s. I promise that my next post will be a little less depressing, and a little less rant filled.  I'm thinking a non-ms related bit of jazz...  

p.p.s For those of you who are unfamiliar with the vernacular, an RA (Resident Adviser/Assistant) is a student who acts as a bridge between the dorms and the administration.  Many people view RAs as "hall cops" or "narcs" but I can assure you that they serve an extremely important purpose and exist to help students in a way that the administration or faculty never can.  An RD (Resident Director) is usually the next level up, and runs the day to day operations of an entire dorm.  The RD supervises a staff of RAs. 

This can be either a great and rewarding job, or absolute hell.  This depends on who is living in your dorm, how vigilantly you do your job, how neglectful the administration is, etc.  I have plenty of horror stories to come on this one.

The ever-worrying limbo of the diagnostic process

Hello,

Probably the toughest part for me during this whole process was the period of limbo between realizing I had a problem, and knowing what the cause of that problem was.  With the type of symptoms I was experiencing, the number of potential causes was staggering.  I was told over a dozen types of diseases, viruses, injuries, etc. that were likely culprits.

In the lead were Lyme's Disease, Sarcoidosis, any number of head injuries that I had throughout the years, and multiple sclerosis.  (At this point, it was sad to realize that my best case scenario was Lyme's Disease, but I don't think I've ever been bit by a tic.)

I should qualify the head injury bit.  I have always been somewhat athletic, and have been a competitive hockey goaltender and foil fencer.  In my tenure as a goaltender, I have been hit in the head with pucks, sticks, knees, fists, elbows, goal posts, etc.; sometimes quite violently.  There have been times where I had been hit, and felt fuzzy afterwards, making that a real contender.

The scariest of the lot was a tie between Multiple Sclerosis and Sarcoidosis.  Sarcoidosis is an auto-immune disease where the cells and inflammation that occurs while fighting disease/viruses remain after the disease/virus is eradicated.  This results in granulomas building up in various organs, which cause complications.  Although it is rare, there is a chance of Saroidosis being fatal.  Unfortunately for me, the roots of my symptoms were most likely in the spinal cord and/or brain, meaning there was a higher likelihood of severe complications if it were Sarcoidosis.

Multiple Sclerosis is a somewhat similar auto-immune disease (albeit in laymans' terms when I say similar.)  Rather than the cells and inflammation from the body's immune system remaining and causing granulomas after an immune response, Multiple Sclerosis causes the immune system to attack the myelin sheath, which is a protective covering of the nerves (brain and spinal cord.)  Given that my symptoms were most likely rooted in the brain and spinal cord, out of these options, Multiple Sclerosis has an arguably better prognosis.

It was a number of weeks  between first noticing a problem and finding the cause.  I was thankfully able to see my neurologist within a couple of days of that initial onset of symptoms... but wrangling all of the tests took weeks and weeks.  I had MRIs of my entire spinal cord and brain, brain activity tests (of which I can't remember the name, but required probes on my head with tons of ultrasound jelly,) EMG tests, blood tests, etc.  I believe it took over a month from the first neurologist visit till my initial diagnosis.

(For anyone not familiar with the lingo, and EMG test stands for sadist doctor who wants to stab you with needles.. I mean Electromyogram.  The doctor will perform nerve reflex tests with an electric probe, as well as test nerve connectivity with a series of needle sticks in the muscles and nerves.  If your doctor/technician is good at this, it wont be too bad... but it can be quite painful.)

As I had talked about in my previous post, my initial diagnosis was Transverse Myelitis, which was lower down the list of possible culprits.  The doctor came to this conclusion after finding lesions on my spinal cord, but not in my brain.  I began interferon treatments to stave off further damage to my myelin sheath, and steroids to try and repair the damage done by the initial attacks.  The first set of follow up tests (mostly more MRIs... thank god I'm not claustrophobic) found more lesions in my brain, and the diagnosis was modified to Multiple Sclerosis.

Well, I can't really think of a way to succinctly wrap this post up, so I'll just say this; if you are in that period of limbo prior to understanding the root of your symptoms, make sure you do a good amount of research into your possible diagnoses, but keep a clear head and try not to scare yourself.  Easier said than done... I know.

Thanks,
Adam

Dr. Feldman... Or how I learned to start worrying and love the neurologists office

Hello All...

OK, so as my title suggests, I wanted to bore you with the tale of how I was ultimately diagnosed with MS.

It was 2006ish (possibly 2007... you'll find out as I continue ranting that I was quite bad at keeping track of things until recently) and I was in my junior year of college.  I remember the day it happened vividly.  I was sitting at my computer, writing a paper and chatting with some friends over instant messenger.  As I typed away, I noticed that my fingers were a little tingly... and as I started paying more attention, realized that the entire left half of my body was slightly numb.

As any normal twenty-something male would do, I began randomly poking myself to figure out exactly where the numbness started and stopped (and how hard I could jab myself until I could feel it.)  After a few minutes of palpating, I casually mentioned to a good buddy of mine that I was noticing this problem.  Naturally, he yelled at me for just sitting there and not calling my doctor ASAP.

To think of it, I guess that would be the reaction of any normal, sane human being.

I decided to suppress my usual "wait and see" attitude, and left a message for my neurologist, Dr. Feldman of SI, NY (I should mention that I had been seeing Dr. Feldman for about 5 years as I have migraine headaches, and was on a prophylactic medication for them.)  After leaving a message, I decided the best thing to do was just relax and wait to see what the doctor would say.  I figured since I had no trouble walking, grasping, breathing, typing, seeing, etc., that there couldn't be that much to worry about.

About an hour later, I got a frantic phone call from a physician at my neurologists office, telling me to immediately stop all medications and get my butt to their office.  To make a long story short (TOO LATE - if any gets the reference from Clue,) after a battery of tests, I was diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis.

Transverse Myelitis, or as I call it "MS Lite/Diet MS" (half the calories, all the problems,) is an inflammation of the spinal cord.  It is somewhat similar to Multiple Sclerosis, and the way it was explained to me, my diagnosis was based on lesions being found on my spinal cord, but not in my brain.  I began interferon treatments, and started researching as much as I could.  6 months later, I took another battery of tests where lesions were discovered in my brain, and my diagnosis officially changed to MS.

The kicker to all of this is I had been showing other signs for months, but I had written them all off to stress.  I had been playing the violin in my college band/orchestra, and suddenly began having trouble with the fingers on my left hand.  I would shoulder my instrument, I had reduced strength and dexterity in my fingers.  I figured I was under under a great deal of stress, and decided to take some time to rest and relax.  It was only a few months later that I had the full blown attack, and went numb.

The moral of this story is simple.  DO NOT IGNORE SYMPTOMS!!!  If you notice something wrong, get it checked out.  I know that if I had gone, it wouldn't have changed the ultimate diagnosis; but I may have gotten treatment earlier, and avoided/pushed off my first big MS attack.

Thanks for reading,
Adam

P.S.  The worst part of this whole ordeal was not knowing what I had.  It took a surprisingly long time to be diagnosed, although I was provided with a number of options as to what it could be.  The range of viruses, diseases, injuries, etc. that I was given ranged from quite simple, to being on borrowed time.  That was definitely not a pleasant time.  Well, tune in next time.. same bat time, same bat channel!

My foray into blogging!

Hello!!

My name is Adam and I have multiple sclerosis.

I have been living with MS for the last few years, but I have only recently been compelled to start putting pen to paper (or fingers to keys if you will.)  For years people have told me that I needed to find some sort of therapeutic outlet... and blogging may be a great way to vent.  Although I knew that there are real benefits to writing, I had always been resistant to sitting down and starting.

I have always been afraid that my writing would come off as whiny and complaining, or just looking for sympathy.  I knew that this definitely would not be the case, but it has always stopped me from actually getting my butt in gear.  Plus there is always the whole laziness thing... I have never had faith that I could write consistently; getting posts out often and well written enough to gain a following.

What had changed my attitude was my sister, Jaime.  Jai was diagnosed with lung cancer about 3 years ago, and began blogging about her journey shortly after.  I know the writing was a great outlet for her; and gave her a platform for her clever, witty, and incredibly intelligent writing.  Plus, it had to be a great way to vent her frustrations.  We lost Jai a few months ago, which has been the hardest thing my family and I have ever gone through.  When I read her blog, I can hear her voice... and makes me want to show just a fraction of the strength she had.

You can read Jaime's blog here.

I plan on documenting my experiences here in hopes of engaging in some meaningful discussion.  This blog will also give me an excuse to ramble on about my various passions.  I will definitely be going on diatribes on food and movies; that way it won't be too monotone.

Well, that concludes the boring introductory post.  Make sure to stay tuned for my next post... Dr. Feldman (Or how I learned to start worrying and love the neurologists office.)

Yours Truly,
Adam